Whether you are an entrepreneur, leader or manager in an organization; your success, and ability to have a positive impact depends on your ability to be part of the solution. And, if you are a giver, you must watch out for yourself.
In difficult times people and organizations alike look for leadership. For communication, direction, and information. These are needs.
Some of these needs are fear driven. Many people globally now are experiencing impacts to their sense of security and that will trigger fears. Individuals have different responses to fear. For many, this means loss of an individuals sense of security.
Subsequently, some individuals seek control, some withdraw, some fight, and some may even give up.
Then There Are Those Of Us Who Step Up and Help
This help may look like listening to others concerns, reaching out to someone who seems to have withdrawn, mediating a dispute, or injecting hope into our environment.
Sometimes we are called caregivers, fixers, helpers or givers.
These individuals, in difficult times always lean into problems. They show up at their best when others need help the most.
Many of these individuals go unnoticed and unacknowledged. In part, because the nature of a giver is to give. Not to take.
They are not trying to take credit or seek approval. In contrast, they act out of a different set of values and drivers.
Giver(s) Need Boundaries
When balanced with healthy boundaries a giver can have strong and long-lasting positive impact in others lives. And, in their own lives.
They can change the world for the better.
When imbalanced and in lack of healthy boundaries a giver can overextend themselves. In fact, even becoming more focused on helping others than caring for themselves.
This imbalance can lead to resentment, burn-out, even personal health issues.
It can also lead to negative impacts in career and business success because when imbalanced a giver will focus more on the success of others than their own success.
If any of this rings true for you I have two pieces of information that may help you today:
1. How Are YOU Doing?
We are not finished with the challenges of this year yet. In all honesty, now is an important time to take a breath and check in on how YOU are doing.
When was the last time you asked for help? Have you taken on too much? Do you even know how you feel?
A Tool
Here is a tool that has helped me a great deal in business and in relationships. This quick tool helps me to scope the depth of my giving.
This image illustrates two spheres. The sphere of control, the sphere of influence.
The sphere of control represents issues that are within your direct control and your actions will have a direct impact on the outcome of these issues.
While, the sphere of influence represents issues that are outside your direct control. Consequently, your actions in this area will not have a direct impact on outcomes. However, your actions can influence the outcomes of these issues. Influence can be accomplished through leverage of relationships, communication, funding, voting, etc.
Additionally, any issues that can not be categorized in these two spheres are outside of your control and outside of your ability to influence. I call this area the land of lost opportunity and wasted time.
Giver(s) And Determining Level Of Effort
When using this tool to assist in determining your course of action when dealing with an issue, the following questions will guide you in determining how much effort you should give that issue:
- Is this issue within my sphere of control?
- Yes – what steps can you take today? Take them.
- No – See Question 2.
- Is this issue within my sphere of influence?
- Yes – who is the most influential person in my horizon I can reach out to who can help with this issue? Speak with them, ask for help.
- No – See Question 3.
- Is this issue outside of my control and something I cannot influence?
- Yes – give yourself permission to step away from this situation that you cannot influence and focus on other issues within your sphere of control.
- No – you must let go; you can’t fix this. Or you answered one of the two questions above incorrectly. If you arrive at this answer more than once on the same issue identify the feelings you have attached to this and acknowledge them. Write the issue down on a piece of paper or in your journal and set it aside with an intent to revisit it tomorrow. Then try these questions again.
Why is the sphere of influence represented as the sun? Because, if you spent too much of your time and effort operating in your sphere of influence you may get burned.
In conclusion, focus your energy on your strengths and on areas within your sphere of control.
This will help maximize your success and positive impact while maintaining your energy.
2. Giver(s) And Success
If you were to dig into the research and knowledge on givers vs. takers and their associated success, you will find volumes of great information out there.
My information comes from years of experience.
Being a giver I know that the relationships around me are stronger than relationships a taker or matcher would have. I know that I am happier than any taker I am aware of or have worked with, And, I know that my tendency to give to others often means the credit given for great work helps others in promotions and reputation more often than it helps me.
I give credit but I also take responsibility. Hence, not the best combination for self-promotion.
In the role of giver people will get to know you and understand that you can be trusted. Further, that you will be there for them and can help them.
These strengths generate activity.
As a matter of fact, these attributes bring more people to you and if you do not have healthy boundaries you will be left exhausted. In fact, feeling like you have nothing left to give and possibly feeling resentful.
You can not let this happen.
Definitely a Giver?
If this rings true for you, and you have a proven record of success and achievements in your career, you should be in business on your own.
The key to your success is in developing the ability to set healthy boundaries to ensure you do not give it all away. As long as you work for someone else you will give more than you receive.
Givers Create a norm of helping and collaborating, and [others] catch on to that norm. When giving behavior is consistent and visible, it becomes contagious.
Team Lemonade
Are you not quite sure of yourself and your abilities? Look back at what you have accomplished. Identify the unique skills that you have and build a business or service around that.
I guarantee you once you have the confidence in yourself and your abilities that service that you provide to others, combined with your tendency to give and your ability to build long lasting relationships will bring you success beyond imagination.
Additionally, all of our posts in the True Best Self Series can be found here.
Finally, more great content can be discovered on our Youtube channel.
